Friendships are funny things. We choose these people that we like and we keep them around to talk too and we meet up with them sometimes. Some people we get on with instantly and other people we just don’t see eye to eye with. What many people do not understand is that it is perfectly okay if not everybody likes you. It is okay to drift apart from your old friends. Take the space you need to grow and take the time you need to build yourself into the person you want to be. The people who are meant to be in your life, will find a way to be there.
This is a lesson I took a while to learn. It wasn’t until I moved away to university did I realise who my friends were. You see, I wasn’t particularly popular in school. I had friends and I was happy but my friendship group was small and chosen. I had a few friends who I was closer too than other people in my friendship group. The thing is the people I thought I was closest too then are actually the first friends I lost. I was part of a close trio. 3 girls. We did everything together. So many people say that 3 is a crowd and it can never work but my response to that is of course it can work, you just have to want it too.
The three of us were close friends, I would argue, that these are the girls I was closest too. We were pretty much inseparable throughout secondary school. Right up until we left. The thing is we all went to different collages, but we didn’t care we still did everything together. Nothing could break us apart, we made the time for one another. Along came 2015 and the exciting prosperities of universities. And thus, ended our friendship, or rather my friendship with them.
I decided to move away from home and start a new adventure. I had the best time but you see this is where I lost my friendships. This is when I realised that not everyone you meet is permanent and meant to stay in your life. You see in first year we stayed friends, we made time to catch up with one another. It wasn’t as frequent as it had been but we did the best we could. By second year those meetups had gone and by third year we didn’t talk anymore. They stayed close to home and could meet up whenever, and slowly I disappeared from the picture.
They still meet up and are good friends now. And I have good friends who make me happy now. Though the thing is it took me a long time to accept that maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with me but rather we just grew apart. It took me even longer to accept that this is okay. What people do not tell you, is that friendships break hearts too. Friends have the ability to hurt you. I am not the same little naïve girl who went off to university, I am a grown woman who will not stand for being mistreated. No, I didn’t cry when it was over, I could see that they were happy and I knew that I was too. I was hurt at the time, it had always been the three of us and slowly I watched them meet up and go out without me. I watched them post photos together, go to festivals together, talk about how inseparable the two of them were. I knew that once I had come home from university it would never be the same again. Low and behold it hasn’t been. I’m not bitter, I’m not jealous I’m at peace with the situation. And if they were to approach me to meet up, I’d probably go for a short while.
I have new friends now who I met at university. I lost friends at university, friends I thought I would have for life. I had my heart broken all over again. I have friends I have known since I was 3 and were still best friends today. I am happy with all of the people I have in my life. It has taken me a while to accept that not everyone is going to like me and not everyone is going to stick around, and that is okay.
Some things aren’t meant to last forever. Somethings are only temporary. It was good while it lasted and I was happy, for 7 years. I understand that things have changed now. we are not friends anymore and it can never be the same again. I was heartbroken, but it has taken time.
Things are different now, and I finally accept that I am okay with that.
If you find yourself in a situation where your friends have broken your heart. I understand I’ve been there. You can get through it. Your heart will be whole again.