Time Is Running Away From Me

Time is running away from me.

I am coming to the end of my fourth year of study at university, which actually means I have been away from home for 4 years? I left young, impressionable and with a lot to learn at the age of 18 and looking back at how far I have come is fascinating. Moving out at 18 gave me the independence that I had never had before. Whilst I was prepared to move out physically, nothing could quite prepare me for the emotional strain being homesick would render me. For the first year, I suffered a really bad case of homesickness, luckily, I was able to surround myself with a good bunch of people.

Now I am not saying that over time, being away from home got easier, that absolutely is not the case, I miss home all of the time. However, I have learnt to deal with the emotional strain a lot better and I feel like moving out really pushed me to grow up. But looking back now, I have been away for four years I can hardly believe it? I blinked, coughed and time was gone. I go back home now, and the town’s roads aren’t as familiar anymore. The roads I think I can drive down are one way. The people I left behind have moved onto new and bigger things. It isn’t the place I left behind, it’s the place that moved on and left me behind. And that’s okay. We are put on this planet to live and grow, and development is a key part to human life. It is just so strange to go back to a place I used to belong as a different person and an outsider. Though, it will always be home.

They say, ‘home is where the heart is’ and my heart never really left, but it always a joy to look back and wonder at the development you have made. I probably wouldn’t even recognise the girl on the street I used to be now. She was shy, timid, afraid, constantly concerning herself with what other people thought about her. I have lived outside of the bubble and security net of my home now and I have changed. Today I am chatty, unafraid, unstoppable and do not concern myself with the negativity people wish to push my way. These days I live, and I love whereas before I used to put up and just survive.Although, life has a funny way of playing out. Home will always be where my heart is. No matter how much I change and grow as a person and no matter how far I go, home most defiantly is where I gravitate towards. The place I no longer recognise, is the place I always long to be. However, I do not wish myself back into the make-do friendships and half-bothered attitude. As I continue down this untrodden path of uncertainty into a future I haven’t planned out yet, I no longer am afraid of what tomorrow will bring. And when I look back in another 6 years I wonder how much further I will have gone. Time is a scary thing and as it ever races into the future, I no longer fear what is in store and I no longer get caught up on the past experiences I have lived. 

Time is running away from me, but that’s okay.

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